Jazmin Medrano doesn’t shy away from the topics that would make most people blush.. or at least giggle nervously. Medrano is a life coach, trainer, and creative visionary based in Berlin with a focus on sexuality.
With a warm and outgoing nature, she exudes the relaxed confidence of someone extremely at ease in her own skin. It’s easy to see why clients would feel comfortable working with her.
Before taking up residence in Berlin, Medrano lived in Los Angeles, where she spearheaded Universal Music Group’s digital production, sales and marketing initiatives. Despite the enviable lifestyle and invitations to LA’s hottest parties, she was plagued by a nagging sensation. A feeling she was trying to fit into a glove that was just not her size. “There was a void I felt within that was inexplicable,” she explains.
So, in 2011 she left it all behind. Quit her job, packed her bags, said goodbye to her friends and family, hopped on a plane and embarked on a journey of self discovery. Did she ever question or doubt herself about embarking this journey? The answer is an emphatic no- “In every inch of my body I knew it was going to happen. Nothing was going to stop me. I knew it as clearly as I know that I am a woman.”
Leaving her life and career in Los Angeles, in her words “Catapulted me into diving into my soul, seeing myself for the first time, and shedding all those layers of shitty toxicity that were simply layers of conditioning and familiar inheritance. Not an easy ride, but starting on a blank canvas gave me the possibility I was in search of.”
It’s been a long journey. And one, she says, that will keep going. Today, through her coaching practice, Unfettered Living, Medrano supports clients who are grappling with a range of life issues.
I met up with Medrano to talk about sex, relationships, careers and finding fulfillment and authenticity in a culture that tells us to always want more.
Questions for Jazmin Medrano
You had what appeared to be a great career and a great life in Los Angeles, why leave it behind?
In terms of the lack of fulfillment I felt, looking back I don’t think it was just work, I think it was my life. My life was going in a direction that wasn’t in resonance with my truth. I was conditioned to go through the motions of following a cookie cutter formula…going to college, having a job, getting married, having kids, and then one should be happy. And while I of course do want a family of my own, I know that is not the purpose of my existence. My core was like “no!” There is more to my existence than simply following the herd.
That’s what the void was about. I wasn’t living my truth and I wasn’t on the path to find my truth.
After leaving Los Angeles and going on a journey of self discovery, you became a life coach here in Berlin. Tell me about your approach towards coaching.
As a coach, I don’t have a questionnaire. I don’t filter the people I work with. I don’t have a specific target market. Anyone who is willing to work on themselves is someone I can coach.
The best way for me to be a coach and medium for a person is to give them space and accept whatever is going to come out of them. Allow it to flow as its going to flow and work with whatever is present in the moment. That’s where we start. Then we eventually get down to the core of whatever we need to talk about.
What do most of your clients come to you seeking guidance about?
Interestingly enough, what people come to me about most are romantic or relationship issues. But I work with the structure behind their story.
Often when you get to the core of it, it’s not really about their relationship problems or whatever they feel they are struggling with. What they are really struggling with is something much deeper. Often times it can be something that happened to them when they were children, perhaps something that happened with their mom or something they saw in their parents’ relationship, which has shaped how they deal with their own relationships as adults. It’s about learning what’s behind their story and working from that. And there is even more to it than what I just mentioned.
Your coaching practice is called Unfettered Living. What does the concept of unfettered living mean to you?
Unfettered living means living a life free of inhibitions. To feel there is nothing in the way of doing what you want to do. Accomplishing what you want to accomplish. Just accepting and being whoever you are at any given moment.
On a personal level, it’s allowed me to give life to my creativity and bring to life creative ideas that, for example, have nothing to do with coaching. I realize now that I’m not limited to the title of a ‘life coach’; this is simply a label to allow people to identify some aspects of what I can offer. And I as a person have much to offer, coaching being one of them. And this is most definitely part of the freedom that lies within living an unfettered life.
Why do people feel so disconnected or struggle to find their own ’truth’?
One of the main reasons people aren’t connected to themselves is because since we were little, we were conditioned to be a certain way. If you think of the first memories you have of your existence- you are taught how to walk, how to talk, how to speak. These are all layers of conditioning. We grow up as adults to have these layers of beliefs.
When these beliefs are left unexamined, people don’t feel free to live their own lives or just be themselves. They feel they have to live their lives according to what everyone else around them wants. That’s not living an unfettered life.
What’s the relationship between living an unfettered life and sexual expression?
If you are on the path to living a life free of inhibitions, you are naturally going to come into contact with your sexuality. We all have contact to it, but most people kind of resist it. Sex is life and life is sex. If we have resistances to sex, we have resistances to life. We are a walking result of sex, so why be ashamed of it? If we’re ashamed of sex, then to a certain extent, we’re ashamed of ourselves.
People usually think of sexuality as just the act of sex, or masturbation or eroticism. But that’s not all that sexuality is. Sexuality is something completely holistic. It’s how we live our lives. How we express ourselves. What we create at any given moment. Sexuality is not just about the act of sex.
When we’re in alignment with who we are at our core, we are able to unleash greater possibilities, creativity and power. When people are simply being themselves, when they are being authentic and living a life free of inhibitions, that just radiates. This is sexuality as well. When you are coming from a place of trueness you are going to be fulfilled in every aspect of your life, whether that’s sexually or otherwise.
So being able to express yourself sexually goes beyond the bedroom?
Through the course of coaching and leading workshops, one thing I have learned is that the relationship we have to sex is the relationship we have to life.
Looking back at my own history of sexual experiences, I was very inhibited. I never really expressed what I wanted. I wouldn’t express it because it was always about others and not about myself. This was my challenge- that everything was always about others, to please others, for other people to have pleasure. It didn’t matter for me- as long as they were happy, I was happy.
I realized the way I was in bed, not saying and expressing what I wanted, was very reflective of how I was in every other part of my life. The way we connect in bed is indicative of how we connect everywhere else.
How do you discover your authentic self?
To find your authentic self, you must acknowledge and accept who you are and what you are experiencing in any given moment. It’s important to become aware of any limiting beliefs you hold that are preventing you from living a life that is true to you.
Follow your curiosity and find the treasures and talents that lie within. Express that outward. This is your stamp of uniqueness. We all have the power to create the life that our heart desires. Everything you need lies within you; you are complete.
And finally, question everything. Shit, question me! Don’t take anyone’s beliefs or opinions to be yours by default. Question, from a place of curiosity and not of pessimism, who you really are, what you truly desire and what kind of life you really wish to have. Question why things are the way they are. Come to your own conclusions based on what makes your heart smile. I know it sounds corny and perhaps a bit new age, but the truth is, when you act in alignment with what’s in your heart, everything else will fall into place. This is where trust comes in. Trust in ourselves and in life.
Jazmin Medrano is a Berlin-based creative visionary, life coach and trainer with a special love for the topic of sexuality. She works with people from different walks of life. If you would like to experience her or learn more about her services, contact her via her website or on Facebook and Twitter.
Soheila is the founder of Thinkstr.co and the Principal of Oppfinn Consulting. As a project manager and consultant, her interests lie at the intersection of innovation and societal impact. On Thinkstr.co, she writes about business, technology, travel and smart cities.